RFI: 97.2%
Michigan, we don't see a clear way forward for you. Buddy, you've been fucked for a long time and you know it but you really haven't done much about it. If you're a rep and your target 
consumer has not been shot dead in downtown Detroit that's a good start but there's still a high probability he or she doesn't have a job. Your big industry is not so big anymore and despite enormous auto bail-outs and 'cash for clunkers,' the 'Big 3' is living in reality about as much of the time as the board members at Furniture Brands before a blockbuster, blow off the fucking doors executive bonus payout.
You should start by having a corporate tax rate of 0%, personal property tax rate of 0% and state income tax of 0%. Then beg like hell for industries to move like you do in those Pure Michigan commercials.
consumer has not been shot dead in downtown Detroit that's a good start but there's still a high probability he or she doesn't have a job. Your big industry is not so big anymore and despite enormous auto bail-outs and 'cash for clunkers,' the 'Big 3' is living in reality about as much of the time as the board members at Furniture Brands before a blockbuster, blow off the fucking doors executive bonus payout.You should start by having a corporate tax rate of 0%, personal property tax rate of 0% and state income tax of 0%. Then beg like hell for industries to move like you do in those Pure Michigan commercials.
#2 California
RFI: 92.1%
California, we love you bro' but you really fucked up this time. You're like Lil' Bow Wow with a black American Express card in Dubai. You practically invented the over-leveraged consumer and the sub-prime,
no doc, pay what you want when you want mortgage. You're countrywide's poster child. You're what they now post in banks to remind themselves how not to go bankrupt.
We always thought it a little curious how you afforded those expensive homes wearing cargo shorts at noon on a Tuesday but it's all good bro'. Real estate may be tripping but you still have pot as an industry and this may make for some nice additional income for some California reps until your RFI index comes down. California, you're a little different but we think it's hella likely you're going to bounce back.
Don't get stoked just yet California, give it 24 months. When your state has a garage sale to raise money, you know it's going to take some time.
no doc, pay what you want when you want mortgage. You're countrywide's poster child. You're what they now post in banks to remind themselves how not to go bankrupt.We always thought it a little curious how you afforded those expensive homes wearing cargo shorts at noon on a Tuesday but it's all good bro'. Real estate may be tripping but you still have pot as an industry and this may make for some nice additional income for some California reps until your RFI index comes down. California, you're a little different but we think it's hella likely you're going to bounce back.
Don't get stoked just yet California, give it 24 months. When your state has a garage sale to raise money, you know it's going to take some time.
#3 Florida
RFI: 89.1%
The people in
Florida are crazy like Van Gogh without the genius and missing an ear. The Rep Fucked Index was showing an 81.2 until Madoff appeared on the scene and screwed all the people in Florida who have money, or the Jewish people. Still Florida, we see a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Florida, we suggest for a quicker recovery you lower property taxes. Your state song should be 'Shakedown' by Bob Seeger with those tax rates. Everyone needs some action, but no one wants to get screwed by the tax collector.
Florida are crazy like Van Gogh without the genius and missing an ear. The Rep Fucked Index was showing an 81.2 until Madoff appeared on the scene and screwed all the people in Florida who have money, or the Jewish people. Still Florida, we see a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Florida, we suggest for a quicker recovery you lower property taxes. Your state song should be 'Shakedown' by Bob Seeger with those tax rates. Everyone needs some action, but no one wants to get screwed by the tax collector.
sell your watch Arnold--that might make up for a big portion of the budget deficit.
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